Heavy In Your Arms
by CatchHellBlues
Summary: Katharine McKiddie is a second class passenger aboard the Titanic. What happens when Katharine falls for one of the ship's officers? How will she react when she finds out he's already caught the fancy of another woman? First fanfiction, be gentle
1. Chapter 1

I remember I chose to sleep in on the morning of April 7th, 1912, mainly because it was the day of my eighteenth birthday and I felt I deserved it. It was nearing nine thirty when I heard my door squeak open and I felt a slight nudge on my legs. I stirred and stretched, messing up the knotted auburn waves of my hair even further. "Happy birthday, my dear Kat," I opened my eyes to see my father smiling down at me. In his hand was a small pastry with one lit candle stuck lazily into it. "Oh Daddy, you shouldn't have," I sat up and threw my arms around him, narrowly avoiding setting my nightgown on fire. I quickly blew the candle out, and resumed hugging my father.

He pulled away and waved his hand, dismissing my comment. "Oh hush, it's not every day my baby girl turns eighteen," and with this his eyes began to fill with tears. "It's funny, I don't remember you being this distressed when James turned eighteen." He rolled his eyes and placed the pastry on the nightstand next to my bed before turning to leave. "That's because I couldn't wait for your brother to leave and give me some peace after eighteen years of noise," he said with his back turned to me and closed the door quietly behind him.

I shook my head and giggled, taking a bite of the pastry. I almost choked on it in the next second when my father burst back into the room. "Of course, how could I have forgotten? I swear to you, I am losing my mind in my old age!" He reached into his shirt pocket and took out a small envelope, handing it to me excitedly. I furrowed my brow and placed the pastry back on the nightstand before taking the envelope from his hands. I opened it and realized that inside were two tickets; tickets for second class passage on the R.M.S Titanic, the grand ship that my father had spoken nonstop about for months. I held them in my hands, dumbfounded and unable to form a coherent sentence. "B-but…how…second class?"

Before my mother had died, my father made a modest living as a ship officer for the White Star Line, and would be out to sea for several weeks of the year. When she died in 1904, my father was forced to give up the job in order to take care of my brother and me. He was able to take a job with my Uncle Robert at a local bank but it paid less and I could tell that every day he missed working out on the sea.

"Well, remember my old friend, Charles?" When I gave him a blank stare in response, he continued. "Charles Lightoller? I worked with him for the White Star Line? Oh well, anyway, he was kind enough to pull a few strings, and along with money I have been saving for a few months now I was able to purchase the tickets. I figured now would be a perfect chance for you to get out of England and find yourself a husband in America." "A husband? That's what this is about? Who will stay here with you? I refuse to leave you all alone here!" "Who says I'll be alone? I've got your Uncle Robert and Aunt Anne, and James visits all the time!" I rolled my eyes at this. "Aunt Anne is an insufferable woman, you and I both know this. And James only ever visits during holidays, since he's too busy gallivanting with girls at school! Father, please, I don't want to go. I can find a husband here, in Bassett, when the time is right." He shook his head sternly, "I will have none of that Katharine Antoinette! I refuse to sit back and let you waste your life caring for me. I will be perfectly fine, I promise you that. Where's your sense of adventure? Remember the letters Aunt Margaret sent us about New York? You'd love it there, and she has agreed to let you live with her and Uncle Albert until you've found a suitable husband."

I felt tears stinging at my eyes, but quickly pushed them away. There was no use fighting with my father, especially now, when he looked so happy. It had just occurred to me that this would be the first time he would be on a ship since he left his job with the White Star Line, and I knew this must be as much a present to him as it was to me. "When do we leave?"

"The tenth of April. I know it's short notice, but you should have enough time to get your things together. Now, get dressed. I want to take my Kat out for a nice birthday brunch," he laughed and kissed me on my forehead before leaving the room. I sighed, finished my pastry, and crossed the room over to my wardrobe. There were many extravagant gowns that my Aunt Margaret had sent me for various occasions, and I loved each and every one. Aunt Maggie had always been my favorite of my mother's three sisters. Because she couldn't have children of her own, she spoiled me like a daughter. Her fiery spirit and sense of humor made her a wonderful person to be around, and I had been crushed when she moved to New York with Uncle Albert when I was fifteen.

I pulled a white dress with lace sleeves out of the wardrobe and changed, then pulled my hair back with a turquoise barrette of my mother's. After applying some makeup, I met my father in the parlor downstairs. He was dressed in a black overcoat and a black top hat. "You look beautiful sweetheart." He took my hand and I smiled at him.

When we returned later that afternoon, I returned to my room and began to gather my things, including all of the gowns from Aunt Maggie and a picture of my family before my mother died. I looked around my bedroom and sighed, wondering when I'd be able to see it again after the voyage.


	2. Chapter 2

Three days later, I stood outside my lifelong home as my father packed up the car with our luggage. It was the first time that I had truly studied the cottage…the brownish gray tint of the stone and the dark green shutters adorning the windows, the flowers that mother had planted outside the door before she got sick, the wishing well on the far side of the property that James and I used to play around every morning…I wondered with sadness if I'd ever be able to leave New York to see my home again, and if I'd ever see my father again…

"Ready to go Kat?" I almost jumped at my father's voice, releasing me from my thoughts. I nodded, and reluctantly turned away from the cottage. Father wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held open the door to the car for me, gently helping me climb into the backseat. He then took his own spot in the driver's seat and slowly pulled away from our home. "Goodbye Bassett," I whispered as we left my hometown and made the short trip to the docks at Southampton, where we would board the Titanic.

Several hours later we had made it through the commotion and onto the ship. Father had gotten our luggage settled in our room, and then parted from me to explore, excitement evident in his eyes like a child that had just been handed a chocolate bar. "I'm going to see if I can find Charles," he exclaimed happily before he left me to wander on my own.

I was strolling around the decks when I saw a line of passengers leaning against the railings, waving goodbye to their loved ones that gathered on the docks below. I found an open spot along the railing and joined them in their heartfelt goodbyes. "Goodbye! I'm going to America!" I yelled while giggling and waving both my arms frantically. A moment later I felt someone slip in next to me, but thought nothing of it until he turned and began speaking to me.

"Who are you leaving behind in England?" I blushed and bit my lip, "Well um, my brother…and my aunts and uncles…" "I see, and they are down there, on the docks?" "No, but everyone looked like they were having so much fun, I decided to join them" I laughed, embarrassed. He looked confused, but then laughed along with me. "I'm Harold Lowe," he extended his hand to me, and I met it with my own. "Katharine McKiddie. It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Lowe, or should I call you officer?" I said, eyeing his handsome uniform. "No, you can call me Harry." "Very well, then you shall call me Katharine," I smiled, which he returned with his own grin. He had striking good looks with dark hair, deep brown eyes, and a strong Welsh accent. "You're from Wales? Which part?" He looked at me, surprised, "Conwy in-" "North Wales," I finished for him, "yes, my Aunt Anne comes from there as well." "Oh? Is she also travelling with you?" I shook my head and rolled my eyes, "No, thank God. I think I should have to slit my throat if she was." He chuckled at my bluntness, and I blushed again, mentally slapping myself for my lack of a verbal filter. "Well, I'm afraid I must be getting back to my rounds. It was nice meeting you Katharine; I hope to see you again soon." "I'm sure you will, it's a small ship," I said sarcastically. He replied with the grin I had already grown to love, tipped his hat, and strolled down the deck towards the back of the boat.

I sighed and pushed myself away from the railing just as the ship started to slowly pull away from the docks and left in search of my father.


	3. Chapter 3

I found my father towards the front of the ship, chatting animatedly with a man who looked to be about the same age as him. "Ah, here she is," my father said when he caught me approaching out of the corner of his eye. "Charles, this is my daughter, Katharine. Kat, this is Charles Lightoller, second officer aboard the Titanic and a good friend of mine." Charles held out his hand and kissed mine when I offered it to him. "Sweet Katharine, I haven't seen you since you were an infant. She's splendid, William," he said turning to my father, who beamed in reply. "Your father has told me a lot about you, including that this is your first time aboard a ship! Amazing, considering your father's love of the sea."

"Yes, well I'm afraid I haven't gotten the opportunity since mum died, although I am honored to be able to say my first voyage was aboard the grand Titanic." Lightoller looked sad for a moment, "Yes, your mother was a lovely woman. My wife was crushed when she heard of Emily's death."

I nodded understandingly, it had been the roughest time of my young life, and I glanced at my father to see that he was peering sadly down at his shoes. Mr. Lightoller must have noticed as well, for he quickly changed the subject. "I would love to give you and your father a tour of the ship tomorrow, if that would be something you'd be interested in…"

I smiled appreciatively both for the distraction and the offer. "Yes, very much so, thank you Mr. Lightoller." "Please, dear, call me Charles. Well then, I suppose I should actually do my job instead of moseying about," he laughed, "It's great to finally see you again, William. You must join me tonight; some of the officers like to get together for a few rounds of poker." "I think I'll take you up on that offer Charles," my father chuckled. "Fantastic, I will meet you here at eight then." He kissed my hand again and headed towards the bridge.

"Charles is a great man. His wife was very close friends with your mother. They sent each other letters frequently." I nodded, but didn't want to get onto the topic of my mum. I linked arms with my father and began to walk along the decks of the ship, gazing out at the sea and the fading shore of England. "I can see why you love the sea so much father, it's beautiful." "Ah, Kat, you haven't seen a thing yet. Just wait until we're really out, into the open waters…there's nothing that can describe it." I sighed dreamily and rested my head against his shoulder for a moment, suddenly tired.

"I think I'll go and take a nap before dinner, Daddy. Let me know if you find anything interesting out here," I smiled. "Alright sweetheart, I'll wake you in a little while."

I was heading down the hallways in the second class section of the ship when I once again ran into the Welsh officer, Harry. It felt good to say his name, right almost. I was wondering why I felt that way when I noticed he had a broad smile on his face, and I turned around discreetly to check if it was me who had inspired it. "Katharine, we meet again," he said with a knee-weakening crooked grin. "Officer Lowe," I mock saluted him and we both laughed. "I know I said I hoped to see you again, but I didn't mean to imply that you should follow me," he teased. "Follow you? This is my part of the ship!" I protested. "Your part of the ship, eh? I'm an officer, Katharine. The entire ship is mine to roam." "Oh well aren't you all high and mighty?" We both broke into a small fit of laughter, and his eyes shone happily, making my stomach flip.

"Where are you off to?" he asked when we could breathe again. "I was about to take a nap…there didn't seem to be anything else to do and I was getting a bit tired." "Nothing else to do?" he asked incredulously, "This ship has everything you could imagine! Turkish baths…a gym…swimming pools…libraries…" I held up my hand and he stopped talking. "I know all that already…but I was under the impression that they were reserved for first class only." "Technically, yes. But with the gown you're wearing, it shouldn't be hard to pass you off as a first class girl." I looked down at my dark green gown, one of Aunt Maggie's gifts. It was one of the last dresses she gave me before leaving for New York. '_It'll compliment you're green eyes so nicely, Kitty,' _I remember her saying, using her nickname for me. "Besides," Harry continued, "you're hanging around with an officer, I've got connections." I rolled my eyes and shrieked happily when he pulled me towards the first class decks.

When we reached the decks, he linked his arm with mine and stuck his nose high up in the air, mocking the arrogant attitudes of the passengers surrounding us. I stifled my hysterics as I watched him make a fool of himself, and noticed the judging glares that the first class members sent our way. They must have assumed that I was a high society girl, hanging around with a lowly officer. I shook my head in disgust at their attitudes, and tightened my grip on Harry's arm. He must have noticed, because he smiled breathtakingly down at me.

Soon we came upon a door, and he led me inside. It was the swimming pool, and there was no one there at the moment. I kneeled down alongside it and ran my hand over the surface of the water. It was surprisingly warm, and I allowed my arm to travel a little further into the pool. "It's heated, and the very first of its kind to ever be found on a ship," Harry remarked as he knelt beside me. "It's wonderful…I wish I could take a swim in it whenever I pleased. These rules of society really start to weigh heavily on me." Harold met my eyes with understanding and pulled me to my feet, his face momentarily only inches from my own. I turned my face and pretended I was distracted admiring the lavish tiling on the floor. Harold more than likely caught my discomfort at his close proximity, because he began heading for the door. "Would you like to explore some more of the ship?" I nodded anxiously and followed him, and then on a sudden impulse I grabbed his hand. He paused and looked down at our now intertwined fingers, then up at me with a curious expression on his face, but he said nothing and pushed open the door.

We had been walking, hand in hand, for a short while when we saw a group of officers gathered ahead. Harry abruptly dropped my hand, letting it fall to my side, and I looked up at him with rejection in my eyes. "I would love nothing more than to continue holding your hand, Katharine, but there are strict rules against officers forming relationships with passengers. I could lose my job should someone report me to the captain." "Oh, of course, I didn't think of that. I feel foolish." I had averted my eyes to the floor and toyed with fabric on my dress. He put his finger under my chin and tilted my head so I was staring directly into his chocolate eyes. "Don't feel foolish, love. I should have mentioned it earlier." I nodded, blushing, and we continued on down the deck and past the officers, the perfect picture of innocence.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry and I walked the decks, chatting about my life and his. He told me about his family in Wales and how he decided to run away from home at the age of fourteen to pursue his dreams of working on the sea. I told him about how close I had been with my brother James until he left for college, and how much I missed spending time with him. Eventually the topic turned to my mother. I told him how she had been sick with pneumonia and Harry listened comfortingly, not pressing for any details.

After two full rotations on the decks, he and I decided to stop to rest for a moment. We both took seats on two of the deck chairs and relaxed. I had closed my eyes for a few minutes and when I opened them again I noticed Harry had done the same. A slight smile formed on my lips, and I thought in wonder about how I already felt a strong friendship forming with him, only mere hours after I had arrived on the ship. I was looking around when I caught sight of a first class girl who couldn't be any older than me sitting ten or so chairs away from Harry and I. She had blonde hair that was secured in a tight knot at the nape of her neck and wore a pale pink gown of luxurious materials. Atop her head sat a wide-brimmed hat that was tilted to the side and covered one of her blue eyes. She was staring at Harry with a twinkle in her eye that made me uneasy.

"Harry?" I nudged his arm gently and he opened his eyes, smiling at me. "Yes Katharine?" I laughed, "I must be getting back to my room…my father will be looking to wake me up from the nap I told him I was taking, and I don't want him to worry." Harry looked down at his watch and nodded, standing up. He offered his hand to me and I took it, allowing him to pull me up. I shot a look at the blonde, not quite sure what signal it was supposed to send but feeling an instinct to do so anyway.

Harry led me down the second class passageways and I stopped him when we reached my room. "Well, this is it," I said, disappointed that I'd have to leave him after such a wonderful afternoon. "I have a shift during dinner, but I would love to escort you to the dining hall…with your permission…and your father's, of course." I smiled at how nervous he sounded, and couldn't hold in my anticipation. "That would be lovely Harry. My father may already be in the room," I said as I opened the door. Sure enough, father lay on his bed reading a book. He looked up at me until his gaze fell on Harry, and he stood up, eyebrows raised.

"Father, this is Officer Harold Lowe. Mr. Lowe, this is my father, William McKiddie." Harold shook my father's hand, and my father looked him up and down. "An officer, huh? You know, I was once an officer with the White Star Line." I let out a sigh of relief knowing that my father approved, based solely on Harry's profession. "Really? What a coincidence!" Harry winked at me as my father retrieved a picture from his nightstand, and I had to restrain from laughing. "This is me, with a few of the other officers back in 1902. Those were good days," he stood staring at the picture, almost as if he had forgotten he was in the presence of others. Finally he snapped out of his trance and turned back to Harry. "How long have you been working on ships, son?" "Since I was fourteen, sir. That would make it fifteen years now." Father nodded approvingly, and slapped his hand onto Harry's shoulder in a friendly matter. "It's a fine line of work. Nothing compares to being out on the open sea, day after day." "I couldn't agree more with you Mr. McKiddie." Daddy shook his head, "Call me William, boy." "Well then, William, I have come to ask your permission to escort Miss. McKiddie to dinner tonight. Surely a beautiful young woman like herself shouldn't be wandering the ship alone…" Father considered Harry's proposal for a moment. "You're right, son, I'm embarrassed to admit I hadn't considered that. I give you permission to escort Katharine to dinner." "Thank you, sir. I will meet you here at seven then, Miss. McKiddie." I smiled and held in a giggle at the sudden formality that Harry used in front of my father. He kissed my hand and shook my father's before leaving the room.

"Nice boy, very nice boy." "Oh Father, you're only saying that because he's an officer on a ship! You would befriend a murderer if that were his profession!" I teased, laughing. "Maybe so…but he would have to be a very tasteful murderer to be an officer aboard a White Star Line ship." I shook my head at him and we both laughed. For a moment I forgot that he would be leaving me in New York at the end of the voyage, perhaps never to see me again.


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as Harry left I sent my father out of the room so I could prepare myself for dinner. I must have torn through my wardrobe ten times before I settled upon a flowing red gown with silver embroidery along the neckline. I had worked alongside my father and uncle in the bank for an entire summer in order to buy it, and it was one of my most prized possessions.

Two hours later, after careful primping, I took a step back and looked at myself in the full length mirror in the corner of the room. I had managed to turn my thick auburn hair into sleek curls, and my painstakingly applied makeup made my green eyes stand out against my pale skin. I couldn't help but wonder what Harry's reaction might be to my appearance, but just as quickly as the thought came, I shoved it away. Why should I care what Harry thinks of me?

Several moments later a soft knock sounded on the door and my breath caught in my throat. "Kat? Is it safe to come in yet?" I relaxed when I realized it was my father, and took a seat in a chair next to the mirror. "Yes Daddy, you can come in." "Sweetheart, you look beautiful! Your eyes….they certainly are your mothers." I smiled sadly and just then there was another knock on the door. "That must be Harold. He's going to faint when he sees you, Kat." Father opened the door and I could hear Harry greet him as I walked over to them. Harry's eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly when he saw me, causing me to blush furiously. "Miss. McKiddie, might I say you look stunning."

My face continued to turn red and I mumbled a quick thank you before taking his arm. My father followed alongside us as Harry led the way to the dining hall. I could see out of the corner of my eye that Harry would sneak glances at me every so often, and each time it made my heart beat a little faster. At some point during the walk I thought it may be possible that my feelings for Harry had extended past a friendship.

When we reached the dining hall, Harry paused with me outside the entrance. "Go ahead, Daddy. I just want to thank Harry for accompanying us." Father nodded and continued on into the room. "I will be working until nine, and then I have a short break. Do you think you could meet me at the back of the ship around then?" Harry wanted to spend more time with me? My stomach filled with butterflies at the thought. "Nine is a bit late…" "I understand. I just thought I'd give it a try-" "You didn't let me finish," I interrupted, "it is a bit late, but I should be able to sneak away without father knowing. He will be with Mr. Lightoller playing poker or something of the sort." I could see that Harry was trying to contain his wide grin, but he failed miserably. "Great, then I shall meet you at the very back of the ship at nine o'clock tonight." I also failed at containing my excitement and I had to stop myself from jumping up and down like a child. "I'll see you then." He brought my hand up to his lips and let it linger there for a second longer than necessary.

When I joined my father my knees felt like rubber and my face was flushed. He gave me a curious look but the waiter coming to take our order prevented him from asking any questions. "What can I get you tonight sir?" My father skimmed the menu as I stared into space, dreaming of Harry. Before I knew it, my father was literally shaking me from my thoughts. "Katharine! The gentleman is trying to take your order!" "I'm so sorry, sir. I'll have the chicken, please." "Of course, miss." The young waiter took my menu and walked away, leaving me alone with my father's intense glare. "What's gotten into you, Kat? First you tell me you're going to take a nap and return to the room an hour later with a man, now you're daydreaming while both the waiter and I are trying to speak to you?" "I'm sorry Daddy; I was going to take a nap when Har-um, Officer Lowe, offered to show me around the decks. As for the daydreaming, I suppose I'm just tired and should have taken that nap after all." He shook his head and pointed his finger at me with one eyebrow raised. "If this is some sort of rebellion thing to keep from having to stay in New York, it's not going to work. You'll thank me for this, Kat. I know it may be scary to leave home, but it's time for you to move on…to find a husband." I felt the tears threatening to spill at the reminder, and I dabbed the corners of my eyes with a handkerchief from my purse.

Father's gaze softened and he put his hand comfortingly on my shoulder. "Kat, you know I only want what's best for you. If you stay in Bassett, with me, you're going to end up marrying that Martin kid from down the block," he shuddered a bit and I giggled through my tears. Martin was a short and plump young man that I had grown up with. He was incapable of holding a conversation and reeked of fish. "You're my baby girl, believe me this is hard on me as well, but I cannot expect you to stay behind in England for my own selfish reasons. You deserve a loving husband, children, and a chance at a new life. Perhaps you could even find a wealthy man…" "Daddy! Since when has money ever been important to you?" He shrugged and absentmindedly fiddled with his napkin. "The cost of living is going up, Kat. Your mother and I were in love, but I couldn't offer her the luxuries that she deserved. I never want you to have to struggle that way." I shook my head and was about to argue when our food arrived. My father and I ate in a tense silence, and I excused myself as soon as I was done. I could see that he was about to stop me, but must have thought against it because he kept quiet and watched me go.


	6. Chapter 6

I left the dining hall and ran to my stateroom with tears streaming down my face. Once inside, I tossed my earrings onto my nightstand and wiped the makeup that had been ruined from my crying away with a tissue. I knew it was only eight thirty, but I decided to make my way towards the back of the ship anyway.

When I was nearing the stern, I noticed two figures were already there. It took me a few steps to realize it was Harry and the blonde girl from first class that I had seen staring at him that afternoon. I tiptoed closer, hoping to catch what they were saying. The blonde's hand was rested on his chest, and she was obviously being flirtatious with him. She leaned forward and whispered in his ear, and that was all it took for me to feel sick to my stomach.

I turned around quickly, almost tripping over a chair, and when I was sure they wouldn't hear my heels clicking on the wooden deck I broke into a sprint. I ran until I began to feel dizzy, and I decided to stop and rest in one of the deck chairs. My heart felt like it had been torn apart and thrown carelessly into the ocean, and what made things worse was that I couldn't explain why I felt this way. I knew that I had formed a grade school crush on Harry, but surely it wasn't strong enough to make me feel as utterly horrible as I did? Who Harry chose to spend time with…or possibly even court…was his own business, and I had no right to feel jealous or upset about that.

As hard as I tried to convince myself, I couldn't seem to shake my feelings away. I had images of slapping the blonde across her pretty little face and throwing her overboard. I even had an urge to yell at Harry for betraying me; for leading me to think it possible that someone as handsome as him could be interested in someone as plain as me. I must have sat in that deck chair for over an hour, debating with myself, before I felt someone standing over me. I looked up to find Harry staring down at me, hurt in his eyes. "May I sit?" He gestured to the empty chair next to me, and I nodded, trying not to meet his gaze.

"I waited for you at the stern…I thought maybe your father had caught you trying to leave. I see that wasn't the case…" he looked down sadly, and my body swelled with guilt. "I was there, actually," he looked up at this, confused. "I got there early. I had a disagreement with my father at dinner, and left before dessert. I thought maybe you'd already be at the back of the ship, which you were…except another woman was there with you." His eyes lit up in recognition, and he spoke quickly. "You mean Amelia? Amelia Preston? She's a first class passenger…she had been wandering the ship and saw me standing there…she asked me where the Turkish baths were." I shook my head sadly, and stood up from the chair. "And she needed to whisper that into your ear and hold her hand to your chest as she did?" I turned to walk away; my heart couldn't handle the conversation any further. "Kat, please," he held my hand and spun me back to face him, "There isn't anything going on. She was a bit flirtatious, sure, and with her being a first class passenger I couldn't exactly shove her away…but that doesn't mean I share the same feelings." I felt a tear escape, and roughly wiped it away with the back of my hand. "How could you not? She's beautiful and rich." He shook his head and stared intensely into my eyes. "I could never feel for another the way I do for you," and before I could respond he gently pressed his lips to mine.


	7. Chapter 7

A second later Harry pulled away, and I chuckled quietly at the whirlwind of emotions that pulsed through my body. I suddenly felt like I couldn't support myself, and sat back down in the chair. Harry looked nervous and ashamed, and he sat cautiously next to me. "I'm sorry, Kat…I shouldn't have done th-" I silenced him by returning my lips to his. I released him and he smiled at me. "You know, you interrupt me quite often…although this time I didn't mind." I laughed at this and studied his face as he smiled. His jaw was strong and his lips were full and soft…I shook my head in amazement that what was happening could actually be real.

"Harold?" We both looked over as Amelia Preston sauntered towards us. Harry stood quickly and smoothed out his uniform. I chose to stay seated with a dirty look aimed directly at her. "I still cannot seem to find those Turkish baths…I suppose you're just going to have to lead me there yourself." She smiled seductively, and I rolled my eyes. Now that I was watching their interaction up close, I felt silly for ever thinking Harry could have feelings for Amelia…he looked as uninterested in her advances as one does watching paint dry.

"Actually, Miss. Preston-" "Please, call me Amelia," she purred. "Amelia, I believe the baths are closed now." She frowned slightly, but I could tell her disappointment wasn't genuine. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she had already been aware of this detail. "Oh what a shame! Perhaps we could find something else to do…together?" She smirked suggestively, and I clenched my hands into tight fists. "As…appealing…as that sounds, Miss. Preston, I'm afraid I must decline. My next shift will be starting in a few minutes." "Well that's really too bad…but there's always tomorrow. Keep your schedule open for me," she winked at him and shot a smug look at me, before strutting away.

Harold let out an exasperated sigh and sat back down. "I'm sorry, Kat. I can't let her think anything is going on between us. As I'm sure you can already tell she's a manipulative young woman, and she would certainly report us to Captain Smith." "Have you met her before?" "Yes, I met her briefly on the last ship I worked on. She got one of my fellow officers fired, and I tried to avoid her for the rest of that voyage. I see I was lucky enough to catch her fancy anyway." "But if she likes you so much, why would she want you to lose your job?" He shrugged and removed his hat to run his fingers through his hair. "I'm not sure, but I don't want to give her a chance to get either of us in trouble." I nodded and moved closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. He stroked my hair and rested his head on top of mine. It was one of the most amazing moments of my existence.

Soon, he picked his head up and gently brought me to my feet. "As much as I hate to have to leave you, it's time for me to get back to work." I sighed and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my head up against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and then pulled away to meet my eyes. "It's extraordinary how quickly I've developed feelings for you. You're like nobody I've ever met, Katharine." I smiled, grabbed his hand, and we walked together back to my stateroom.

When we reached the room, a passing stewardess made it impossible for him to kiss me again, so he kissed my hand sweetly instead and left for his shift. I stepped forward, praying that my father wasn't back from poker yet. I pushed the door open slowly, and let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding when I saw that he wasn't there. I changed into my nightgown and was washing my makeup away when I heard a soft knock on the door. Before I could open it, a piece of paper was slid under the door and I could hear footsteps retreating away from my room. I picked up the paper and read the phrase that was printed neatly upon it: Stay away from him. With trembling hands I stuffed the paper into my purse and climbed onto my bed, curling up into a ball. I lay there for hours, pretending to be asleep when my father came in. Some time before dawn I drifted to sleep with thoughts of Amelia and Harry clouding my head.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up with a headache the next morning and opened my eyes to see my father staring at me with concern. "That's a little creepy, Dad." He shook his head at my attempt at humor. "I was starting to worry, Kat…I tried waking you up for breakfast, but you wouldn't budge. I was thinking of calling in a doctor." I almost laughed at his overreaction, but froze when I saw the clock. It was already nearing noon. "My Lord, I slept this late?" I suppose it made sense considering I hadn't fallen asleep until the sun came up. My mind suddenly went back to the note tucked safely away in my purse, and I felt a wave of nausea spread through me.

"Are you not feeling well, sweetheart? I can tell Charles that you're not up for the tour today?" I mentally kicked myself. I had completely forgotten about Mr. Lightoller's offer to show us around the ship. "No, I'm alright, Daddy. I suppose all the excitement of yesterday just exhausted me." He nodded and ruffled the hair on the top of my head. "Get dressed, honey. I'll meet you on the decks." When he closed the door behind him I walked over to find a dress. Amelia and the note still plagued my mind, and I absentmindedly grabbed a dress and put it on, then quickly pulled a comb through my hair, not caring much how I looked.

When I reached the decks I spotted my father staring out at the sea. "Hi, Daddy." He turned around and smiled at me, before his eyes widened a bit and he covered his mouth to avoid laughing. "What is it? Is something wrong?" He walked over to me and reached into my hair, pulling out my small comb. My face must have resembled a cherry, if not a darker red. I snatched the comb from his hand and threw it in my purse, forcing me to come face to face with the note once again. "Are you sure you're feeling alright, Kat? It's not like you to leave the room without checking yourself in the mirror first." "Oh so now I'm vain? So what, there was a comb in my hair, laugh all you want." I turned away from him and crossed my arms, suddenly feeling like a little girl throwing a temper tantrum.

"Katharine, what's wrong? You never behave like this…something must be bothering you. If it's about the discussion we had last night, I want to apologize…" I shook my head, motioning for him to stop. "It's not that, Daddy. I'm sorry. I guess sleeping so late made me cranky." He nodded, but I could tell he wasn't completely convinced. He didn't have much time to consider it though, because at that moment Mr. Lightoller appeared from a door a few feet away from us. "William, there you are! I hope you haven't been waiting long?" "Not at all…in fact, Katharine only woke up a short while ago," my father chuckled. Mr. Lightoller raised his eyebrows at this in amusement, "Is that so?" I shrugged, embarrassed. "Well then, if you're ready, I can start the tour." My father and Charles walked along, both engrossed in every detail of the ship. I stayed back a few steps, lost in my own thoughts…not that it mattered; they were too distracted to notice anyway. We were roaming the first class decks when I felt a sharp pull and found myself inside the swimming pool room, which was once again empty. I was about to yell when I noticed who had kidnapped me; Harry. I put my hand to my heart and felt its quickened pace before slapping Harry's chest playfully. "You scared me half to death!" He chuckled and wrapped me in a warm hug. I sighed, content, and buried my face in his jacket. He smelled like peppermint and the ocean.

"I'm sorry, Love. When I saw you passing I couldn't resist." His grin made it impossible for me to stay mad at him, even if I was only pretending. "What were you doing in here anyway?" He shrugged, looking around. "I got bored on my shift so I came to check if anyone was in here…I've yet to see anyone use the pool, and I'm thinking it's an awful waste." I nodded in agreement before remembering the note that weighed heavily on my mind. "I have to show you something, Harry. I was getting ready for bed last night when there was a knock on my door, and this was slid under it." I handed him the note, and he turned it curiously in his hands before reading it. I watched as his expression turned from confusion to anger, and he handed it back to me silently. "Amelia." He whispered it so softly I almost thought I had imagined it.

"What do we do?" I whispered back frantically, "She doesn't have proof that anything is going on, so she couldn't possibly report you to Captain Smith, right?" He looked at me unhappily and shook his head. "The Preston family is very powerful…it would be her word against ours, and I can't see how we'd stand a chance." I bit my lip to keep from sobbing and placed my hand against Harry's cheek. "I won't let her ruin this. It's been only a day and already I can't imagine not being able to see you. Whatever has to be done, I'll do it…if it means sneaking around or meeting only at certain times, so be it." He smiled sadly and placed his hand over mine on his cheek. "She's a conceded person, Kat, much like the rest of the first class. She won't assume that I'm involved with a second class girl over her unless we give her a reason to believe so. We'll just have to do our best to avoid her, and not get caught doing anything suspicious," he affirmed.

"But Harry…if she knew where my room was, wouldn't that mean that she had been waiting and followed us? That she saw everything…including the kiss?" He shook his head, looking sure of himself. "No, where we were on the deck offered nowhere for her to hide without being easily detected. As for on the walk, I suppose it's possible, but I didn't kiss you when we reached your room so that would offer no evidence either" I nodded, remembering that Harry hadn't kissed me in front of the stewardess that had been walking down the hall. "She must have felt threatened by your presence on the deck, and decided to warn you before you could take what she believes to be hers." I sighed again and cuddled back into his embrace. He held me tightly, creating a sense of security that I never imagined I could feel.

After what felt like forever, I released myself from his hold. "My father and Mr. Lightoller must have realized I'm gone by now. It would be quite ridiculous if they haven't," I almost laughed, "I should return to the decks. I'll say I felt lightheaded and decided to sit." Harry nodded and kissed me, holding his lips to mine and making my head spin. I unwillingly pulled away but kept our foreheads pressed together. "Meet me here at ten tonight…if you can," he whispered. I nodded and allowed him to leave the room before me, waiting a few minutes before then exiting myself, ensuring that no one saw us leave together.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I'm sorry this is such a short chapter, and that most of my chapters have been short...this is my first fanfiction so i wasn't sure how 2 pages on microsoft word would look on here...i'll try to make the next chapters that i write longer :)**

I had been sitting on the deck chair for a few minutes when I heard heavy steps and I looked up to see my father and Charles jogging towards me. Daddy's face was beat red. I couldn't tell if it was from the sudden physical activity (he'd always had a somewhat protruding midsection), anger, or embarrassment…perhaps it was a combination of the three. I stood and took a deep breath, ready for what was sure to be a very stern lecture. Father grabbed both my shoulders and stared into my eyes before pressing the back of his hand to my forehead. "Where on Earth have you been, Katharine? Are you alright? We looked back and you were gone!"

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I was feeling a bit lightheaded and I decided to sit. I would have told you, but you both seemed so entranced by the details of the ship, I didn't want to disturb you." He shook his head angrily, letting his hand drop from my head. "This is the first class deck Katharine. I don't care how many luxurious gowns Aunt Margaret has sent you; you are still a second class passenger. What would you have done if you had been caught? Not only would you have gotten us in trouble, but you could have cost Charles his job!" Father spoke in a hushed tone, glancing around every so often for nosy first class passengers. Mr. Lightoller placed his hand on Father's shoulder and looked at me sympathetically. "Now, William, it isn't that serious of an offense. If you aren't feeling well, Katharine, I can escort you to the infirmary?"

I smiled, grateful that he had shifted my father's wrath away from me, and shook my head. "No, thank you Charles, I'm feeling better now." He returned my grin and nodded. "Very well then, if you won't be requiring my assistance I must be getting back to work." He tipped his hat at both my father and I, and left us in the direction of the bridge. My father spun towards me, his face still red. "I don't know what's gotten into you, Katharine Antoinette, but I assure you it will stop. Otherwise, you'll be facing harsh consequences once we reach New York." And with this he stomped away, leaving me with no choice but to follow.

The time leading up until dinner was uneventful. Daddy barely spoke to me and when he did there was a slight sting behind his words. He always had been one to overreact, and I decided to stay out of his way and let his anger blow over. I spent much of the late afternoon in the second class library, but instead of doing any reading I sat in one of the armchairs, thinking of Harry.

After what could have been minutes but turned out to be hours, I looked at the clock placed on the mantle of the fireplace in the library. It was nearing five thirty, and I dreaded returning to the room and seeing my father, but I had to prepare for dinner. Slowly I dragged myself down the second class corridors and paused when I reached my stateroom. I had my hand placed on the doorknob when I decided against it, and before I could change my mind I headed towards a room that I couldn't be sure I knew the way to.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Okay, so this one is a bit longer than the others lol, i'm slowly improving...**

I remember at one point on the walk I had looked down at my feet and felt as though I wasn't the one controlling them…like they had a mind of their own and were taking me to a place that they wanted to be. I knew in the pit of my stomach the only place that I wanted to be in that moment…a place that if my father knew I was there, he would shackle me to my bed for the remainder of the trip.

I took a deep breath and looked up, shocked to find that I had already made it to where I was headed. There I stood, in the same pale lavender dress that I had hastily pulled on that afternoon, on the bridge of the Titanic…with a plan that was too poorly thought out to actually work. I was about to lose my nerve and leave when a voice called to me. It sounded so distant, but I knew it belonged to the officer standing right in front of me. My head spun with anxiety, and it took me much longer than necessary to sort out what he was saying.

"Can I help you, Miss?" I stared, void of emotion, into the face of a boyish looking officer. In the time I should have been answering him, I was assessing how my plan could go. I decided that it could go wrong. Horribly wrong.

"Miss? Are you alright?" His soft British accent flowed through my thoughts, breaking me of my trance. "I'm so sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night and I'm afraid it's left me in a daze," I chuckled nervously. His smile was warm and genuine…it reminded me of my brother when we were younger. "Is there anything I can help you with?" I nodded, the sickening knots in my stomach making it difficult to speak. "I was hoping to chat with Mr. Lightoller…he's a friend of my father's." "Of course, I'll tell him you're waiting Miss…" "McKiddie. Katharine McKiddie." He nodded, and disappeared down a hallway.

I had almost fallen back, deep into my thoughts, when the young officer returned with Charles. My throat went dry and I felt sick. "Hello Katharine! What brings you here?" I attempted to smile, but I knew it appeared as more of a weak grimace. "Mr. Lightoller…could I speak to you?" My eyes darted to the boyish officer, "in private?" Lightoller and the young man looked at each other, before Charles nodded. "Of course, if you'd excuse us, Officer Moody?" So that was the boy's name…Moody. "Yes sir. Good day, Miss. McKiddie" He touched the tip of his hat formally, and left down the same hallway he had before.

I looked to Charles, who motioned for me to join him on the deck just outside the Captain's bridge. He leaned against the railing and turned to me. "What is it that I can help you with, Katharine?" I tried again to smile naturally, succeeding more than I had on the first attempt. "It's silly really…I lost…my shawl. I had dropped it when we were taking the tour, and the last I heard was that an officer…Lowe I believe…had picked it up. Could you show me where to find this officer?" He furrowed his brow in suspicion. "And why is it that you couldn't speak of this in front of Officer Moody?" My heart raced and my stomach churned over and over until I felt dizzy. Why couldn't I have said this in front of Moody? "Um…well…I just didn't want him to know that I was on the first class decks. After what my father said this afternoon, I didn't know if it would reflect poorly on you…" the suspicion in his eyes disappeared and was replaced with understanding. "That was thoughtful of you, Katharine. I can tell you the way to Lowe's room, but of course I'll have to accompany you." Yet another problem I hadn't considered. _Great plan, Kat. _I nodded solemnly, following him past Moody and through the hallway with my head down.

It didn't take long for us to reach a room marked 'Fifth Officer Harold Lowe". Charles knocked firmly and called "Officer Lowe, it's Lightoller, open up." I could hear stirring in the room and after a moment Harold flung the door open looking as if he'd just woken up, which I'm sure with his hectic work schedule, he had. He stood in the doorway with his white collared shirt unbuttoned, leaving a small section of his muscular chest and abs in sight. I almost threw myself on top of him; which I would have if it weren't for the presence of Mr. Lightoller and the strong morals I had grown up with.

When Harry realized I was there, he pushed the fabric of his shirt together and folded his arms in front of his chest, trying to cover himself up. I inwardly whined in protest. "What can I do for you, Mr. Lightoller?" I was already embarrassed. What could Harry possibly say to recover my story? I would be found out, Lightoller would think I was some sort of maniac (if he didn't already, after the afternoon's episode), and I would shrink away, back to my room to face my father.

With the greatest stroke of luck I had ever experienced in my life, a loud crash interrupted Lightoller before he could explain the situation to Harry. A second later, Moody appeared at the end of the hallway. "Lightoller, we need you up here!" He yelled frantically. Lightoller, obviously forgetting about his promise to accompany me during my discussion with 'Officer Lowe', sprinted up the hallway and disappeared. I turned back to Harry, who was leaning out the doorway and staring down the hallway in confusion. Not a second later we heard Lightoller's shouting. "By God, it's just tea! You needed to scream for me over a tray of bloody tea being knocked over! And you call yourself a man!"

Harry and I looked at each other and burst into a fit of laughter before I pushed him into his room and closed the door behind me, locking it. He looked at me, confused, and I smiled mischievously as my lips collided with his. I kissed him passionately and then pulled away, leaving him breathing slightly heavier. "Wow…" I laughed, and sat on his bed. "Don't think I'm complaining, but what are you doing here?" he smiled. I shrugged and looked around the room. It was small, but I wouldn't mind sleeping there if it meant being with Harry. Not that I would sleep there…with him…or would I? I was doing a lot of crazy, out-of-character things lately.

"What was Lightoller going to say to me?" I chuckled, embarrassed. "I needed to see you…and I came up with this horrible excuse for a plan where you found a shawl of mine that I had lost." I couldn't meet his eyes as I explained. He laughed and sat down on the bed next to me, the sudden close proximity sending shivers through my body. "In fact, if it hadn't been for Officer Moody's…tea incident…I probably wouldn't be in here right now." I looked up to see Harry smirking knowingly. "Yes well…I have a feeling James may have been helping us out." James? I assumed that meant Moody. "What do you mean?" "Well, I hope you don't mind…but James is one of my best friends, and I have been hinting about a girl that I fancy on the ship." He grinned irresistibly, and everything clicked. Moody had called Charles away to give Harry and me a chance to talk…or…heaven knows what he thought he was giving us a chance to do. I blushed at the thought.

"I hope you're not mad at me?" Harry's grin faded and his forehead creased in worry. I brought my hand up to smooth away the troubled wrinkles, and let my hand travel so that it rested on his cheek. I decided to answer his question with another kiss, and I could feel him smiling against my lips.

I knew I could kiss Harry for the rest of my life, but my father would be expecting me soon, and I wasn't sure how long James could distract Charles. I sighed against Harry's mouth and reluctantly backed away. "My father is waiting for me," I mumbled sadly. He nodded and pulled me to my feet, bringing my hand up to his mouth and laying a gentle kiss along my knuckles. "I would escort you to dinner, but I have a shift at midnight and I'll have to get some rest now. Will you still meet me, at the swimming pool, at ten?" "Of course, I wouldn't miss a chance to see you for the world," I smiled. He tucked a strand of hair that had escaped its bobby pin behind my ear and kissed my forehead sweetly, and I sighed again as I left his room. When I reached the bridge I saw that Lightoller and Moody were on their hands and knees, scrubbing tea off the floor and picking up pieces of shattered porcelain. They both looked up at me when they heard me approach, and I answered before Lightoller could ask. "Officer Lowe didn't have my shawl…I guess I've been hearing the wrong stories," I shrugged. He looked at me curiously, and then nodded before turning back to the floor.

My eyes met with James' as I left the bridge, and I had to stifle my laughter when he winked at me.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: A HUGEEE thanks must go out to those who are keeping me going with this story...you know who you are :) **

I was still smiling when I walked into my room; my experience with Harry had made me forget my father's sour mood. However, as soon as I had stepped through the door, I regretted my sunny disposition. My father was sitting on his bed, the hat he had worn out on the decks still perched atop his head, with his hands folded in his lap. It took me a moment to realize that a piece of paper was clutched tightly in his grip.

"Hi Daddy…" I started off cautiously and slowly eased into the room, shutting the door quietly behind me. He looked up at me with a cold stare, so emotionless he didn't even resemble the man I knew. "What's wrong?" When he didn't answer me I reached for the paper which he let slip from his hands easily, a reaction I hadn't expected. I unfolded the paper with trembling hands and inhaled through my mouth as I faced the words that were written upon it. Second Class passengers do not belong on First Class decks. Those who form close relationships with officers should be well aware of this fact.

I let the paper fall to the floor and hurried over to my father, who was looking to his lap again. "Daddy," I whispered harshly as I shook his shoulders, "did you see who brought us this paper?" No response. My heart thumped loudly in my chest and it became harder to breathe. The silence and tension in the room made me want to yank my hair from my head and scream.

After several moments of unbearable quiescence, my father looked up with unreadable eyes. "We're going to cost Charles his job, Katharine." My mouth fell open before I could catch it. He thought the note was referring to our friendship with Charles? He didn't suspect that I could have formed a relationship with an officer? I almost sighed in relief. "No, Daddy, they can't prove anything. Besides, you were once an officer with the White Star Line, surely that counts for something? I wouldn't worry about it. Come now, we'll be late for dinner." I managed to help him to his feet and he wiped his forehead with a handkerchief from the breast pocket of his coat.

He turned to me just as we were reaching the door, eyes almost as sad as when my mother died. "What if he does lose his job, Kat? I wouldn't be able to handle the guilt." I didn't know what to say, so instead I squeezed his arm reassuringly and led him to the dining hall.

We sat at the same table as the night before and the deafening silence had returned between us. After the waiter had taken our order, during which my father mumbled and kept his head buried in the menu, I decided to put an end to the tension. "Daddy, you don't need to worry. Charles won't lose his job!" He looked up at me and I could have sworn I saw a flash of anger cross his face. "What if he does, Kat? Then how will he support his family? You cannot survive without money these days…I couldn't watch one of my oldest friends suffer the way we do, knowing that I was the cause!" I stared at him in confusion and anger. "Suffer? When have we ever suffered, Father? Why is it that all of a sudden money is the most important thing to you?" He shook his head and threw his napkin on to the table. "I tried explaining this to you last night, Katharine. Being here, on this ship, surrounded by luxury and riches…it reminds me every second of the things I was never able to give our family. The life that you deserve was wasted because I chose to be a sailor! Maybe if I had chosen a more fulfilling profession, I could have afforded the medical care that would have saved your mother! Or perhaps I could have gotten us a First Class ticket, instead of just barely getting us into Second Class! Either way, you can mark my words; I am not going to let the same mistake happen twice. When we get to New York, I'm going to find you a husband that can give you everything that you want and more." "What about my happiness, Daddy? What if I fall in love with a man that isn't wealthy?" He shook his head as he spotted our waiter approaching us with our food. "You'll never be happy if you're struggling to make ends meet, Kat. End of discussion." I stared at him as if I had been slapped across the face and stood from the table without bothering to excuse myself. "I hope you're happy eating alone then, Father." I spat out the words and turned quickly on my heel, racing away from the dining room.

Things had never been this way with my father. Having spent the last eight years without a mother, I had learned to lean on him with every problem I faced. Now, in just one day, he had transformed into the type of person we had once made fun of together; a person who could never find happiness unless it was in the form of money. I shook away the tears that burned my cheeks and wandered with no direction in sight. Finally, having no other place to go, I headed for the library.

I found comfort in an overstuffed armchair tucked in a dark corner of the library, and once I had sat I allowed the tears that I had rejected to overcome me. I thought of my father's new outlook on life…of Amelia and the notes I had received…of how all the odds were against a relationship between Harry and me. I let the sobs unfold through my body and I didn't hold back. I was all alone in the library until a shadow appeared on the other side and I squinted through my tears to make sense of the shape. I couldn't until a face was revealed in the dim light of the fireplace. "Mr. Lightoller?" I stuttered as I quickly wiped my face with the back of my hand. He stepped towards me and crouched so that his face was level with mine. "Kat? I was passing by and I heard crying, are you alright, Dear?" I was ready to mumble a quick 'I'm fine' but something in his eyes made me hesitate. Even in the dark room, I could see they were full of concern and understanding, ready to listen if I wanted to share.

Before I could consider what I was about to do, I felt something inside me open up and I relayed the story to him. I told him about how in only one day I had found myself falling for Harry and how my father had turned into a money-obsessed loon, seemingly overnight. I even told him about my plans to meet Harry that night, and how I was suddenly unsure if I could bring myself to see him, knowing that what we felt wasn't allowed. I decided to keep Amelia a secret for reasons I wasn't sure of, but something inside me whispered that it was best not to inform him of what she was doing. _Maybe because you can't even be sure it's her who's doing it? _I shook the thought away as quickly as it came…of course it was her, who else could it be?

I took a deep breath after I had poured my heart out, and searched Charles' eyes vulnerably. He embraced me and stroked my hair comfortingly before pulling away and looking into my eyes again. "Kat, I know things may seem hopeless now, but everything will work out the way it should." I smiled, the tears slowing down after the confession. I felt as if a two-ton weight had been lifted from my heart. "Thank you, Charles. You don't know what it means to me to have someone to talk to." He stood up and patted the top of my head. "If you ever need me, Kat, you know where to find me." I nodded appreciatively and watched as he left the room, leaving me in the corner that suddenly didn't feel so dark.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I know that the First Class swimming pool was actually located on F Deck, but for the sake of this story we can use our imagination and pretend it was located on the Boat Deck :) Oh and I guess I was supposed to add a disclaimer saying I don't own anything but the characters I created…so there it is.**

Shortly after Charles had left me I decided it was time to face Harry. I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away and if this voyage was truly the only time Harry and I would ever have together, I wanted to use it to the fullest. The First Class Decks were abandoned; the ladies had returned to their staterooms and the men were discussing their mundane politics over brandy and cigars. I was moving slowly, running my hand along the rail and staring out at the ocean, wondering what I would say to Harry when I saw him. I wasn't sure it would be best to explain the events of the night to him just yet.

I was nearing the swimming pool when I collided with someone and I looked up quickly, ready to apologize. I held my tongue when I realized who it was; the Devil herself: Amelia. She wore a smirk and her eyes twinkled knowingly, like she had a deep secret. My stomach swirled and I felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me.

"Katharine, pleasant seeing you again…on the First Class Decks." Her smile was full of venom and I couldn't help but picture her with fangs. "Ms. Preston, I was just-" "Heading to the swimming pool? Are you hoping to find a certain officer there? Well you don't have to worry your pretty little head about him; I've already seen that he knows all about you." My forehead creased in confusion. What could she possibly tell him that he didn't already know? I didn't have the chance to ask before she continued speaking, her voice dripping with poison. "Listen to me, _Dear._ Even with the dresses that your aunt sends you, you're still nothing but steerage. If it weren't for the pity that was taken on you and your father, you wouldn't even be in Second Class! …you're no better than the waste rotting on E-Deck. What would make you think that Harold could want you when he has me?" I shook my head slowly to keep from vomiting and turned away from her. "Stay away from him!" I heard her call, and the note was forced to the front of my mind once again.

When I reached my room I was relieved to see my father wasn't there. I was too conflicted and broken to even care where he could be. My mind began to replay the events of the last half hour, and I felt my head throb. How did she know about my aunt's gifts…and how my father had gotten us into Second Class with the help of Charles?

I had sat in my room for a while before I began to feel suffocated by the darkness. I ran to the door and burst into the hallway, deciding to see Charles. I felt silly for turning to him for a second time that night, but I didn't have anyone else I could lean to. I reached the Bridge to find James drinking a cup of tea. "Careful not to drop that," I called to him. He turned to me, and laughed when he saw who I was. "Ms. McKiddie, what are you doing about at this hour? Are you looking for Harry, because he's still out on his rounds…" my heart jerked uncomfortably at the mention of Harry's name, and I shook my head quickly. "No actually, I'm here to see Mr. Lightoller." He nodded and disappeared down the now-familiar hallway. Charles appeared a moment later, this time without James. "Katharine, what's wrong?" The pain on my face must have been more evident than I had realized. "Everything's falling apart Charles." I felt the tears as they rolled down my cheeks, and I didn't bother with trying to wipe them away. In the next second I felt my body surrounded by warmth and Charles' hand held my head gently to his chest. My body shook with my sobs and I could faintly register Charles slowly rocking us back and forth.

When had my life turned so upside down? Throughout my childhood my father had taught me that love was the most powerful force in the world. Now suddenly I was being shipped to New York, where I would be shoved into a loveless marriage formed only because of my husband's income. The thought of not being able to spend my life with Harry sent more violent shivers down my body and I wept in Charles' embrace.

Some time later my sobbing slowed, and I was left only with hiccups and stray tears. I looked up at Charles, and whispered a thank you, hoping my eyes could relay how appreciative I was of him. He smiled and pressed his lips to my forehead comfortingly. I closed my eyes and placed my head back to its place on his chest. He played with my curls and I imagined that it was Harry's arms that I was curled so tightly into.

"I guess I should be getting back to my room now…my father might be back from wherever it was that he disappeared to." "The Second Class smoking room…he was there speaking with some other guests last I saw him." I nodded and kissed Charles on the cheek. "Thank you again, Charles. I don't know what I would do without you here…I would probably even more of a mess than I am right now." I attempted to laugh, but it was weak and broken. He brushed a piece of hair away from my eyes. "I'm always here, Kat. No matter what." I nodded and gave him a tight hug before leaving the Bridge. I was only a few steps ahead when I spotted Harry walking towards me.

My heart sped up and I clenched my fists to keep from running to him. I froze, willing my legs to move but they wouldn't. It was too late anyway; he noticed me standing there like an idiot and ran up to me. He took my head in his hands and stared into my eyes before lowering his lips to my own. He kissed me so passionately I struggled to keep my knees from buckling under me. "Kat, what's wrong?" He repeated what I had only just heard from Charles. "I need to speak to you…but not here." I took his hand and led him away, ready to explain everything.

**Another A/N: Not my favorite chapter, but it took me forever to write this for some reason. I know exactly what I want to say, just not how to say it! **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I'm backkkk! I must say, it was so hard to continue writing this story after not looking at it for so long. I hope you're happy with the result, I haven't decided whether I am or not. Please review, good or bad...it's the only thing that keeps me going!**

I led Harry to what had become 'our spot': the swimming pool. It was deserted as usual, a quality that had suddenly made it more appealing. Harry stared at me with eyes clouded with concern. I sat in one of the pool chairs, gesturing for him to sit beside me.

Once he was seated, I took a deep breath and considered the best way to approach everything I had to tell him. "I argued with my father at dinner again…" I spoke cautiously, judging every expression that crossed his face, although I hadn't given him much to think about yet. "What happened?" He asked when I didn't continue. "He doesn't want me marrying someone without money. He said that he refuses to let me live without the 'luxuries I deserve.'"

My heart broke as I watched his face fall. He took his hat off and wiped at his forehead before turning to look at me. "Kat…I realize that we've only known each other for two days, and I agree with your father that you are entitled to so much more than I can offer you…but I know that I will never feel this way about anyone else. You've become everything in the world to me…and for that reason alone I promise you that I will work every day for the rest of my life to be the someone that you deserve."

I had to keep the tears from falling as I grabbed his hand and held it in my lap. Being with Harry and washed away every doubt and insecurity I had in my mind. "It's absolutely crazy…like I've fallen into some romance novel. I had never believed in love at first sight before I met you. When the ship docks…I want to go with you. I'll follow you wherever you go, and eventually Daddy will understand. My whole life he's stressed the importance of love over money…surely he hasn't abandoned that thought completely?"

Harry brought my hand to his lips and held it there for a moment, deliberating over what I had said. "I don't want you to leave your family, Kat-" I interrupted him, as I had become accustomed to doing. "You'll be my family, Harry. It's all I could ask for in the world. And hopefully one day my Father could accept my life and we'd be able to include him in it as well." "I wish more than anything for you to leave with me and be my wife," he said as he placed his hat on his head. "This is crazy," he laughed. But I couldn't join in with him…I remembered what else I had to tell him.

"I ran into Amelia on the first class decks." He stopped laughing so quickly it was almost unsettling. "She warned me to stay away from you…she told me that you would never choose me over her. I know it isn't true, and that isn't the part that has me worried. Somehow she knew too much about my life…the dresses from my aunt, how we got the Second Class tickets from Mr. Lightoller…how could she know those things?"

"Knowing the Preston family, they could have spies roaming the ship, sorting through everyone's business." I could tell he was saying it as a joke, but with the experiences I had already had with Amelia, it was becoming more and more plausible with every second that passed.

"Kat…" Harry took my face in his hands and pulled me closer to him, "whatever happens…whether it be with Amelia, or your father…I love you. I don't care how much time it's been, and I don't care that this is insane. You're all that matters to me now, and I won't let anything take you away from me." He pulled me into his lap and I snuggled into his chest, more content than I had ever been in my life.

I almost screamed when he gently stirred me awake…I hadn't even realized I'd fallen asleep. "It's almost midnight, Love. I have to get to work." I slowly opened my eyes and furrowed my brow at him. I saw that he was trying to contain a smile…I must have looked ridiculous in my drowsiness. "But James said you were on your rounds before when I met you? I figured that meant you worked early." "I wish that were the case, but I had to fill in for a sick officer before. Unfortunately, I must leave you for now." "Okay…but only if it is just for now." I said as I jabbed my index finger at him and put on a mock-stern expression.

Harry led me to my room, kissed me goodnight, and left before I had a chance to protest. When I entered my room, I didn't expect to see my father there, and I certainly didn't expect to him to throw me onto my bed. I looked up at him, scared, clutching my arm where he had grabbed me. It was already beginning to show angry red marks.

"Care to explain this to me, Katharine?" He threw a piece of paper at me, and I stared at him before looking to the note. _Ever notice the way your daughter looks at Officer Lowe? If I was the nosy type, I might assume something was going on between the two. Better watch out. _

How I kept myself from vomiting I still don't know, but I kept my eyes firmly on the paper, refusing to look at my father. I could feel him pacing back and forth across the room and I feared speaking would spark a violent outrage from him. "Well! Care to explain?" He forced me to look him in the eye by tilting my chin up with his fingers. "I thought you liked Harry, Daddy."

"Does that mean you should go off and flirt with this officer? Do you want the whole ship to think you're a whore? You're an embarrassment!" I had no response. My whole body felt like it was sinking into darkness…all happiness that being with Harry had brought me was drained in a matter of minutes.

"I love him, Father." The cruel laughter that came from him was unrecognizable…it was as if I had never met him before. And then I realized what should have been obvious from the start. "Daddy…you're drunk. You never drink!" "I'm a grown man, dammit! I can do whatever the hell I please." It wasn't my father speaking…it was the brandy.

"What's gotten into you? Please, can we talk about this?" I plead. "I know that if you gave him a chance, you'd see that Harry is everything that you want for me. He'll take care of me, I promise you." Again he laughed. It was so sinister it made my skin crawl.

"He's a sailor. He'll never have money, he'll never be faithful, and he'll never give a damn about you!" "Daddy! What is wrong with you! Why have you suddenly given up on love?"

"You'll thank me one day…" he slurred as he fell onto his bed and struggled to take his shoes off. "Actually…you can thank Charles one day…he brought me to my senses. He reminded me what a gem you are…that you need a man who can treat you like one…"

"Daddy? What are you talking about? What did Charles say?" I crossed the room and shook his shoulders frantically, but in his inebriation he had passed out cold.

I cursed under my breath and grabbed my shawl from my bed. '_Charles Lightoller, wherever you are, you are about to face hell.'_


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I'm proud to say that writing this chapter came much more naturally! I've gotten my head back into the story, and I now look forward to finishing it. As always, please review...it makes my day**

I had just barely stepped into the hallway outside my room when I turned back. Despite how enraged and confused I was, wandering the ship looking for Charles at such an hour would not be a wise decision, nor would it help towards the gossip that, according to my father, was already spreading about me. I shrunk into my bed, defeated, and thought about Harry.

I closed my eyes and soon after I saw myself, holding a beautiful baby boy. I was staring down at him, peering into his familiar dark eyes. "He looks just like you," Harry said as he crossed the nursery over to where I was sitting with the baby. "He looks a little like both of us…I even see some of my father in him." I turned towards the baby and spoke gently to him, "Your grandfather would have loved to meet you."

I was crying when I woke up that morning. The tears flowed freely down my face, and I almost felt like laughing. '_My, my Katharine, have you lost it?' _I thought to myself as I touched my palm to my cheek. I was sorting through my memory, thinking of any dreams that could've triggered such emotion, but I couldn't for the life of me seem to remember.

I snuck a glance at my father's bed, somewhat relieved to find that he remained unconscious atop the bed, still dressed in his dinner clothes. I felt the bruise on my arm throb at the memory of the previous night's events, and I mentally noted not to let Harry see it. The recollection of the night also restored the burning desire to speak to Charles, to sort out all that my father had mumbled.

From what he said, I gathered that Charles had warned my father of marrying me off to just anybody…but considering how supportive he had been when I cried to him about Harry, that didn't make sense. Thinking about it made my head hurt.

The only way I could know for sure what my father was talking about was to confront Charles, and it was certainly a better time to do so than it was the night before. Fairly sure my father would not be waking up, or even moving, for the next several hours, I changed and left the room quickly. I was a woman on a mission, and nothing could get in my way…except the person I happened to literally run into.

"Oh I'm so sorry Katharine! Where are you rushing off to?" I was about to apologize when I realized who I collided with…Charles. The odds were in my favor for once. "Charles. May I speak to you please?" I didn't wait for an answer. I yanked on his arm and pulled him into the nearest room; a supply closet.

"Katharine? What's this about?" I folded my arms across my chest and tapped my foot impatiently…a signature move of mine when I'm angry. "Charles…would you be so kind as to explain to me why last night my very-drunk father seemed to think it was your wise advice that influenced his new 'get rich or die' theory?" I could see him falter, but he recovered smoothly. "Like you said, he was very drunk. I'm sure if you had questioned him on it he would have blamed the King of England next. I'm here for you, Kat, I'm not against you." He tried to pull me into a hug but I squirmed away from him.

"I don't know what's going on here Mr. Lightoller, but I can tell you that I do not enjoy feeling like a child out of the loop regarding my own life." He smiled at me, but for the first time I felt there was something hidden behind it. I was about to say something, but I stopped myself and exited the closet, leaving him standing there dumbfounded and earning several looks from passerby.

I hadn't made it far when I heard Charles running up behind me. He put his hand on my shoulder and gently turned me to face him. "Kat, please…maybe we should talk…can you meet me in the library tonight?" Everything in me was screaming to say no, but there was a scorching curiosity that overruled all else. "What time." I refused to let any interest show; it would only make him smile again…and for some reason I couldn't stomach another one of his grins.

"How's eight o'clock? You can meet me at the armchair," he said it with a chuckle and I scowled in return. I rotated on my heel and began walking away. "Will I see you there?" I heard him yell. "I guess you'll find out." I said it without turning to face him, yet I could still feel his smirk jabbing at the back of my neck.

I had decided to take a walk around the ship before returning to my room. I didn't want to face my father, but sooner or later I figured I had to fetch him for a late lunch. I was surprised when I found the room to be empty. I placed my hat on my bed and smoothed my hand over my hair, hoping to tame it as much as I could. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a piece of paper on my father's bed. '_Don't bother looking for me. I'll meet you in the dining room for dinner.'_

I threw the paper carelessly and collapsed to the floor, bringing my knees to my chest and burying my face. What had I done to make him so angry? In three days my entire life had transformed completely. It was almost as if I was standing on the outside, looking in on someone else's world. I was in love for the first time, with a man who was able to capture my heart with one grin. My father; my idol; was suddenly just like every other money-obsessed pig on the planet. And now the little perfect globe that I could live in with Harry was being threatened by so many different forces that I doubted once again if there was any chance we could make it out together.

I struggled to keep myself from crying…I had been feeling way too overemotional lately. I couldn't say how long I rocked back and forth on the floor…but at some point I heard a soft knock…too soft to possibly be my father. I approached the door timidly, and opened it up just far enough to peek into the hallway. There stood my savior; the only person keeping me together. "Hi, Love. I saw your father in the smoking room…I figured it'd be safe to stop by here."

As soon as he stepped into the room I wrapped myself in his arms. All I needed to feel assured was his scent and the look of devotion he always wore when he looked at me. It was the hardest thing to describe, the feeling I got when I saw him. I forgot everything else around me, because nothing else had to exist for me to exist; only Harry.

He kissed the top of my head, and then my forehead, and then my nose, and then finally my lips. I could've sworn my whole body was shaking, embarrassingly enough. He pulled me closer to him and lifted me into his arms. I felt him taking us somewhere, but my head was too dizzy and my lips too busy for me to notice or care. He laid me on the bed without the breaking the kiss, for which I was grateful. I tugged on his shirt, trying to close the invisible space I imagined was still between us. I felt my hands working by themselves as they roamed, yanking at his hair and running up and down his strong arms. I was surprising even myself with my forwardness.

I'm almost positive I moaned when he pulled away, but then I realized I needed to catch my breath just as much as he did. His lips were swollen and his hair disheveled and I swear I lost my mind at the sight. My body ached for him in places a proper lady doesn't know she can ache. "What are you staring at?" He laughed and I blushed so deeply I wasn't sure I could ever return to a normal color. Thankfully, he didn't expect me to respond.

"I want you to be my wife, Kat. I don't know how long I can wait," he said as he ran his fingers through my hair. "Oh I know. Gosh, how did we even make it this far?" I rolled my eyes playfully and he smirked before tickling me. I giggled uncontrollably and begged him to stop. "I will only stop if you stop teasing." "I will! I promise!"

True to his word, he released me and I caught my breath. I was lost staring at him again when I remembered that there was still a world outside of the one I had built for him and I. "What time is it?" I asked hesitantly, not sure I wanted to know. "Yes, you have to go to dinner now. Unless you aren't hungry…" he tempted me as he kissed my neck. I sighed and struggled to make out a response. "I wish more than anything that I could stay here with you, but my father will be waiting for me." He nodded and pulled me to my feet, smoothing out his uniform as I tried in vein to fix my own unkempt appearance.

In mere seconds he was perfect, as handsome and neat as when he had knocked on my door. "How do you do that? You haven't a hair out of place! And look at me," I said dramatically, gesturing at my dress, "I look like a common bum!" He let out a warm laugh and I felt proud that I was the one to inspire it. He brought his hand up to stroke my cheek and whispered, "Nothing in this world or beyond it will ever compare to your beauty."

I ran my fingers along his knuckles and brought his hand to intertwine with mine between us. "When will I see you?" "I start my rounds at seven and continue until four tomorrow morning…I'm afraid we'll have to say our goodbyes for tonight." I pouted and he smiled. "Should I escort you to the dining room?" I shook my head sadly, letting go of his hand. "I don't want to risk my father seeing…I'm sure I'm already in for a delightful dinner, I don't want to press his buttons any further." "I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, Kat." "It's worth it for you…but I must get going, I can't be late."

I watched as he disappeared down the hallway, admiring how he even managed to walk handsomely.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I would particularly appreciate feedback on this chapter because i can't make up my mind on how i feel about it. If the readers like it, then i'm happy...so please let me know!**

I stood outside the doors to the dining room for several moments, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat. Several agitated couples pushed past me and it took a particularly hard nudge from one plump woman with a ridiculous feather headdress to snap me out of my trance.

'_You're being ridiculous…he's your father for goodness sake!' _I took a deep breath, and then another, before bursting into the dining room quickly as to not allow myself any time to change my mind. The force with which I entered the room earned me several disapproving glares from those who had already assembled there, especially the plump woman.

My face was hot as I searched for my father. I was almost relieved when I found him sitting alone in the back corner, but then my previous anxieties returned.

"Hello Father," I sat down cautiously and pulled a napkin onto my lap.

"Katharine." He said it in a low mumble and didn't bother to look up from his menu.

"Come now Daddy, don't you think you're overreacting?"

"Don't speak to me like that, Katharine. I'm your father, you'll show me respect."

Suddenly I felt like a small child again, and I shrunk instinctively into my seat. "Please, Father, explain what I have done wrong…how can I have angered you this much?"

He placed his menu down and stared at me for a moment before answering.

"I don't know how to make you understand. I want what's best for you, and you are too young to know for yourself what is. Therefore, as your father, it is my responsibility to ensure that you marry into a secure home in which your needs can be met. This officer business will stop, I can promise you that. Can you not see how you are embarrassing me?" His voice rose slightly in his desperation, and he must have noticed, because he looked around to make sure no one had heard.

I didn't speak to my father through the rest of dinner or dessert. I barely ate…instead I moved the food around my dish and inwardly cursed whatever had made my father change so drastically.

At ten minutes to eight I excused myself from the table, although it seemed pointless considering my father had barely acknowledged my presence at all. I took my time walking to the library…I didn't want Charles thinking I was interested in what he had to say.

When I reached the dimly lit room, Charles was already there waiting by the armchair. He grinned at me, the gesture once again making me uneasy.

"Good evening Katharine." He reached out to kiss my hand, but I pulled away from him.

"Let's not beat around the bush here, Mr. Lightoller. What is it that you wanted to say?" He smirked at my comment and gestured for me to sit.

"Very well, as you wish. First, I would like to apologize. I'm ashamed to admit that I may have been the cause of your father's sudden change of heart. I happened to mention that you were a very exquisite girl- excuse me, woman- and that he shouldn't let you settle for anything less than the best."

"I see, and this one comment you happened to 'mention' managed to have this strong of an impact on my father?"

"I'm sorry, Kat. I didn't mean to harm your relationship with your father, but I do stand by what I told him. It was the other day…when you met us at the front of the ship. We were catching up on each other's lives, you were mentioned, and we got to talking about your trip to New York. I asked if you had any suitors lined up…" his eyes betrayed an emotion I couldn't read, "and when he said no I advised him to find a man that could take care of you. You see, your father and I have both lived the life of a young struggling sailor…he agreed that you deserve more." He reached out to stroke my cheek and my stomach flipped uncomfortably.

"Well…" I wasn't quite sure what to say, but I felt I needed to make conversation in order to stop the way he was staring at me. "Thank you for your honesty, Charles, but I am a grown woman. I can make my own decisions."

He smiled as he moved closer to where I sat and I squirmed to put distance between us. "Dear Katharine…" he cupped my cheek with his hand and before I knew it his lips were pressed to mine. I pushed him away with all my strength, and thankfully he didn't put up a fight.

I jumped to my feet and stared at him angrily before slapping him across the face. He looked at me, confused and hurt. It was almost enough to make me feel sorry for him.

"Have you gone mad?" I shouted, breathing heavily, my fists clenched at my sides.

"I can take care of you Katharine…I'm not a lowly sailor anymore…I make a good living in my position." He looked pitiful, like a love-sick puppy.

"What about your family, Charles? What has gotten into you?" I felt like everything was spinning out of control.

"I've fallen in love with you, Katharine. I know that it's crazy…but I have. I can take care of you" He repeated, grabbing me at my sides and staring into my face. "I can give you everything that you need. I'm not a rich man, but I make enough in my position to make you happy."

"I'm sorry, Charles…I have to go." I ran from the room as fast as I could with no direction in mind.

When I found that I had reached the back of the ship, I collapsed to the floor, my lungs burning. I broke down crying, feeling completely helpless. '_Nothing in this world is as it should be anymore.'_


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I have no excuse as to why this took me so long to write...but here you go! Please let me know what you think, reviews make my life :)**

I lost myself completely as I paced back and forth at the back of the ship. It's a strange feeling…to lose control so entirely. I shivered as a particularly strong gust of wind threatened to knock me off my feet, and I pulled the thin shawl closer to my body. I leaned against the railing, staring out at the ocean and replaying the details of the night over and over in my head. With each time, my stomach grew weaker and my head spun. Everything that I would've sworn could never happen, had; and in a matter of only days.

"Well what do we have here?"

I laughed bitterly to myself when I heard the high-pitched voice of Amelia Preston. '_Shoot, I was hoping she had fallen overboard.'_ I thought to myself before plastering on a fake smile and turning to her.

"Miss. Preston! To what do I owe this pleasure?"

She smirked at me and I could swear my blood was boiling. "I didn't expect to see anyone out here so late…except Harry of course…"

I shook my head, laughing heartily. "Of course. When do you plan on leaving us alone, may I ask? Have you really not figured out yet that Harry doesn't want you?"

"You are so naïve. What could he possibly want with you? You're a pathetic imposter, pretending to be in second class…"

"I'd rather be a so-called imposter than a little girl trying to buy her way into love." I stepped closer to her, whispering in her ear when I was just inches away. "Because you know you won't get it any other way."

I didn't wait for her to respond, but instead I left her to her own miserable thoughts at the back of the ship.

I knew I had to find Harry. To not tell him what happened with Charles would weigh too heavily on my conscience. My heart sped up at the thought of his reaction… '_What if he thinks I wanted this?_' I couldn't bear to consider it.

I was shocked at how quickly I found him, huddled in his thick overcoat. He straightened up when he saw me, eyes darkened with concern.

"Kat? What are you doing out here so late?"

I tried to sort through my mind, but it was clouded completely. "What time is it?"

He started at me quizzically. "It's well after midnight, love."

'_Huh…have I really been out here for this long?_' I was frightened by how disoriented I felt.

Harry draped his arm around my shoulder and led me to sit on one of the deck chairs. "What's wrong?" he questioned as he wrapped his overcoat around my shoulders.

I swallowed back the lump in my throat. "I need to tell you something, Harry, but you must promise me that you won't be mad."

He furrowed his brow and looked at me suspiciously. Somehow, despite all that was happening, my mind still wandered to how adorable he looked, his cheeks reddened from the cold. "Alright…" he finally managed to say.

"I went to speak with Charles before in the library…" I started off cautiously, "and he…well he…" I struggled to find the right words to say.

"What happened?" he pleaded.

"He told me that he loved me…and…he kissed me." The distress written on Harry's face had me jumping to explain further. "I pushed him away, Harry! You have to know I don't share the same feelings!"

He nodded slowly and soon the worried wrinkles in his forehead smoothed out.

"Are you terribly angry with me?" I asked, anxious over his silence.

He managed a small smile and took my hands into his own. "How could I be mad at you…it's not your fault." He sighed and looked down as he rubbed circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. "Nothing can ever be easy for us, can it?"

I smiled softly, "I suppose not…but hey, it sure makes things interesting."

He shrugged, suddenly looking much older than his twenty-nine years. "How could Charles do this? Doesn't he know how much you trusted him?"

I fought back a laugh. Here I was, worrying over how he would react to the news, and all he cared about was how I felt. I yawned, suddenly feeling very tired. It must have been my nerves over everything that was happening that was keeping me awake, but now that I was sure Harry wasn't angry, exhaustion swept over me heavily.

"You need to get some rest; I'll walk you back to your room."

He was unusually quiet as we walked down the corridors and his face had a faraway look. I tugged on his hand, signaling for him to stop just before we reached my door.

He looked down at me, confused.

"What are you thinking about so intently?" I asked him.

"What do you mean?" he muttered innocently.

"You haven't said a word since we left the decks."

He shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "It's nothing."

I noticed he was careful not to meet my eyes. "Harry…please…did I do something wrong?"

He softened at this, and his shoulders slumped slightly. "No…it isn't you." He sighed before continuing. "I have to confront Charles."

My mouth opened slightly and my eyes widened. "Why? I thought you weren't mad?"

"I said I wasn't mad at you. What he did was inappropriate, and I won't just stand by and let him get away with it." He sounded more forceful than I had ever heard him sound before.

I put my hand on his arm gently and begged. "Harry, please. You don't need to do this…no harm was done…"

He shook his head sternly. "Katharine, I'm sorry, but I can't forget it happened. Not only did he betray your trust…" he continued so softly I almost couldn't hear, "but he also betrayed mine."

My heart broke for him, but still I tried to keep him from going through with it. "Harry, you can't…"

"I'm sorry." He repeated, before kissing me on the top of my head and leaving down the hallway.

I slumped to the ground, sitting against the wall. My eyes felt too heavy to keep open, and my stomach was once again in my throat.

'_How can one girl cause so much trouble?'_


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N**: **Gah this is really short and, to me, disappointing. Please review and let me know what you think, if you want me to change anything, etc. Reviews make me very merry :)**

I tried to sit still, I really did. I kept my head resting against my knees, willing myself to stay out of it; to, for once in my life, not be the nosy one. I tried…and I failed.

Minutes (maybe seconds, if my willpower was even weaker than I had thought) after Harry had left, I was on my feet and ghosting through the hallways towards the bridge.

I held my breath on instinct as I drew closer and my heart stopped completely when I heard Harry's voice.

I peered through the thick glass window at the two officers. Harry's fists were clenched in what I could tell was an attempt to keep himself in control.

"Jesus, Charles, how could you do it? How could you kiss her when you know how I feel about her?"

Charles wrung his hands guiltily. "I have no words that could excuse my behavior, Harry. I wasn't thinking, not for one moment."

Harry's fists were still balled up, his knuckles turning white. "I will regard you appropriately as my senior officer, but beyond that you have lost all of my respect." He spoke so bitterly it was hard to grasp that Harry was the one speaking. I never would have imagined that such a gentle man could have such a sting to his words.

As Harry turned to leave, I ducked further away from the door, hiding amongst the shadows. I could see that he had paused with his hand resting on the doorknob, and he turned back to face Charles.

"And Charles," he spoke slowly, his voice gravely serious, "you will stay away from Katharine from now on."

I jumped back when Harry stormed out the door, too caught up in his own thoughts to notice that I stood just feet away.

I took one last glance at Charles before leaving the decks. The way his eyes sunk in to his face, dead and empty, has never left my memory.

I woke up late the next morning. It wasn't surprising to me, considering the time at which I had gotten to sleep. What was surprising was the position I found my father in when I awoke.

He was perched in a chair that he had moved from the corner of the room to sit next to my bed. He was staring at me, eyes rimmed in red and his cheeks blotched with tears. He reached out to stroke my hair, but stopped midway and brought his hand to rest in his lap. I imagine the hurt and confused look I was giving him had triggered the reaction.

"You slept for a long time," he stated nervously.

I nodded tensely, wondering when he would return to being the miserable beast he had been the past few days.

"I…have to apologize to you, Katharine."

I raised an eyebrow at this, suspicious of his sudden change from what I had been slowly growing accustomed to being his new character: a drunken madman.

He stood from the chair and paced awkwardly around the room. "I don't know where to begin…"

I offered him no response.

"I guess I got in over my head being around sailors again. I forgot how these boys drink!" He attempted at humor, but neither of us laughed. "And as far as the…marriage issue…goes, I suppose I was somewhat out-of-line."

"Somewhat?" I muttered, folding my arms across my chest.

He looked at me sadly, his blue eyes watering again. "I have no explanation…nothing that could justify my behavior, anyway. I got it into my head that if I was tough on you now, you would thank me later when you were in a secure home. I was wrong in trying to force you into something that wouldn't make you happy, but you know your happiness is what I care most about in the world."

I shook my head, trying to let what he was saying sink in. "Your multiple personalities on this trip are giving me whiplash," I mumbled, pinching the bridge of my nose with my fingers.

He attempted to laugh, but it sounded pitiful. He crossed the room to where I sat cross-legged on the bed, and enveloped me in a hug.

"Everything will be as it used to, Kat. I promise nothing like this will ever happen again," he whispered, kissing the top of my head. "You don't even have to stay in New York if you don't want to. I'm through making decisions for you," he added.

I peered up at him through my long lashes and proceeded cautiously. "I want to stay with Harry, Daddy." I bit my lip, trying to gauge his reaction.

He let out a deep breath and nodded hesitantly.

"Then you have my blessing."


	18. Chapter 18

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A/N: So this is it! The final chapter! For anyone that may be confused, this is written in segments because they're supposed to represent individual moments that stand out clearly in Katharine's mind.

**I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it...words cannot explain how proud I am to finish this, because there were moments when I didn't think I'd get to this point.**

**Anyways, as always, please review and let me know what you think...just because it's the last chapter, doesn't mean your off the hook as far as reviews go :)**

_

* * *

__I've thought about that last day repeatedly, letting it play over and over in my mind. Some parts of it have become hazy over the years, but other moments, no matter how insignificant they had seemed at the time, still burn clearly as if they were fresh…_

**2:00pm**

After lunch, my father and I decided to spend the day together. It was the first time during the voyage that we talked about nothing in particular; the first time that we enjoyed each other's company. In an instant we were daddy and Kat again, as if nothing had ever changed.

"What are you going to do when we dock?" I asked him timidly, not sure I wanted to hear his answer.

"Well…I'll have to return to England…"

I looked to the floor sadly, biting my lip.

"But that can wait until after the wedding…"

My head shot up and I found him smiling at me, his blue eyes twinkling. "Daddy!" I jumped into his arms, taking comfort in his embrace.

"You didn't think I would miss my only daughter's wedding, did you?" he raised his eyebrows incredulously.

"Well, he hasn't exactly proposed yet, Daddy…it could be a long time before there's a wedding…"

"Nonsense! If he's smart, he won't wait a minute after your feet have touched land!"

I laughed, shaking my head. "You're insane!"

He put his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head, guiding us both down the decks.

**

* * *

****6:00pm**

"You know, Dad…this is the first pleasant dinner we've had on this ship," I remarked as I took a bite of chicken.

His eyes turned gloomily downward. "I'm sorry, Kat."

My eyes widened when I realized I'd upset him and I placed my hand over his on the table. "I didn't mean anything by it, Daddy…I was just making a silly observation."

He nodded, but his face still dropped in sadness, and I decided to stay quiet as I finished my meal.

By the time dessert rolled around, Dad had livened up again, joking around with me and the waiter. My heart almost burst to see him smile.

**

* * *

****8:00pm**

"Daddy…" I spoke nonchalantly, "Would it be okay if I saw Harry tonight?"

He sighed, but when he looked down at me his face showed a hint of amusement. "I'm sure if I said no you would sneak out anyway."

I tried to fake a look of shock. "Who? Me? I'm offended, truly!"

He ruffled my hair and I slapped him playfully on the arm, both of us in hysterics.

**

* * *

****9:00pm**

I came up behind Harry, letting my arms slip around his waist and my head rest on his back.

"I missed you," I whispered.

He turned around in my embrace and kissed me softly.

"How was your day with your father?" he asked when he pulled away.

I sighed contently, and leaned against his chest. "It was exactly how the past few days should have been."

He nodded and rested his chin on the top of my head. "Well, you still have the rest of the voyage and then, who knows…maybe we could find a house close to his in England."

I stepped away from him and placed my hands on my hips, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Are you asking me to marry you, Harold Lowe? Because if you are, I would like a proper proposal."

He smirked at my behavior. "Well, I wanted to wait until I could get a ring in New York, Miss. McKiddie, but if you can't be patient…"

He dropped to one knee in front of me, sending my stomach into my throat.

"When I first stepped on to this ship, I never thought I'd see anything as beautiful…and then I met you. You're everything I don't deserve and yet you still love me. The only thing that could make me any luckier of a man would be if you were to agree to be my wife…and so, Katharine McKiddie…will you marry me?"

"That was pretty good…" I laughed through my tears. "Of course, I will marry you…of course."

He grinned and kissed me passionately, making my knees feel as if they couldn't support me anymore.

He pulled away and took a pin off of his overcoat. "For now…this will have to do," he said as he pinned the metal onto my bosom. I looked down at it…it was a tiny ship with 'White Star Lines' printed on it.

"It's perfect," I smiled at him and his lips met mine again.

**

* * *

**

11:00pm

I sat in Harry's lap in a seat at the back of the ship, my head resting in the crook of his shoulder. I was almost nodding off when Harry gently shook me.

"It's getting late, Love…perhaps you should return to your room before your father starts to worry."

I nodded in agreement, yawning. "Will you walk me?"

He smiled, pulling me to my feet. "Of course I will."

I rested against him sleepily as we walked back to my room, but I was suddenly wide awake when it was time to say goodbye.

"I don't want you to go," I pouted.

"Yes, well, I don't think your father would very much appreciate it if I came in there with you," he laughed.

I leaned against the door and Harry kissed me, his body pressing closely to mine. My mind fogged up until all I could register were the feelings he was giving me.

When he pulled away, I had to give myself a moment before I could form a coherent sentence. "That's not even fair…"

He laughed and placed a quick kiss on my forehead. "Goodnight, Kat."

"Goodnight," I whispered, opening the door and slipping into my room.

My father was already asleep, and so I quietly settled into my own bed.

I closed my eyes, smiling when I heard a grumble from the opposite side of the room.

"Crazy kids."

I guess he wasn't asleep after all.

**

* * *

**

11:41pm

A short time later I was rudely awakened by a violent shudder that sent my father bolting upright.

"What on Earth…?" He reached to the nightstand and put on his glasses, crossing the room swiftly to look out into the hall.

"Excuse me?" he called to a passing stewardess. "What's happened?"

"Oh, it's nothing to concern yourself with, sir."

He nodded hesitantly and closed the door, moving to the closet to grab his coat.

I sat up, watching his movements curiously. "Where are you going, Daddy?"

He answered without looking at me, quickly fastening the buttons. "To find out what's going on…"

He was out the door before I had a chance to say anything.

**

* * *

**

12:20am

When Daddy still hadn't returned over a half hour later, I decided to venture after him. I pulled my own coat over my thin nightgown and entered the hall to find two dozen or so frightened looking passengers.

I saw a familiar officer at the end of the hall and rushed to him, having to push past a few people on the way.

"Charles!"

He looked up at the sound of his name, his face dropping when he saw who it was. "Oh, Katharine…I meant to find you…to apologize…"

I held up my hand, interrupting him. "Now isn't the time, Charles. What's going on?"

"The ship has struck an iceberg…it's serious, Katharine. I was actually on my way to get you, but I've been stopped by so many passengers asking me what they should do…" he looked so overwhelmed.

"Is…is the ship…sinking?" I questioned, not quite believing the situation.

He nodded solemnly, his face inching closer to mine. "You need to get to the lifeboats, Kat…now."

I shook my head stubbornly, walking away from him. "Not until I find my father and Harry."

I was grateful when he didn't try to stop me.

**

* * *

**

1:00am

I was beginning to panic…I couldn't find my father or Harry anywhere and the crowds on the decks were starting to thicken.

I was scanning the decks, close to hyperventilating, when I saw Amelia Preston. She looked smug, even in a time when her life was in jeopardy. As I took a step closer, I saw who she was speaking with…Charles.

Suddenly it all clicked. She had known so much about me, from the dresses my aunt had sent me to how my father and I had gotten into second class, because Charles had told her. He loved me and she loved Harry…they were the perfect partners to separate us. Hatred burned inside of me but I pushed it away. There was no use in succumbing to it now; there were much more important matters at hand.

**

* * *

**

1:15am

"Katharine!"

I spun so quickly to face the voice that I almost fell. The man reached out to steady me, and when I realized it was Harry I hugged him so tightly he turned purple.

"Oh thank God." I mumbled into his coat.

"Katharine, you have to get to a lifeboat, now."

I shook my head apologetically. "I can't, Harry…I have to find my father."

His dark eyes bore into mine, urging. "You can't stay here…the boats are filling up quickly. There aren't enough for everyone on board…" he trailed off sadly.

Again I shook my head. "I can't leave him here, Harry."

He bit his lip, looking around in thought. "If I promise to find him…will you go?"

"But what if this is the last time I can see him, Harry?" Tears streamed down my cheeks, blurring my vision of him.

His jaw clenched, and he nodded tersely. He grabbed me by the hand and led me around the decks swiftly, calling out my father's name. Soon, I joined in.

**

* * *

**

1:35am

My chest heaved in and out with my sobs, and I clutched on to Harry's hand for dear life.

"We're running out of time, Love," he said to me softly.

I knew he was right, but I didn't want to face it. I couldn't leave my father on the ship, especially not when things were finally right with us again.

"I won't leave without saying goodbye," I stated bitterly.

Just then, as if on cue, I heard my father's voice. For a second I thought I was losing it.

"Kat!" he rushed up to me, his arms open for me to fall into his embrace. "Oh, God, there you are!" he said as he stroked my hair. "I'm so glad to see you…yet at the same time, so unhappy to. You need to get to a lifeboat, sweetheart."

I nodded, finally accepting the demand. "I just wanted to see you before I do, Daddy."

He smiled, his eyes watering. "I love you, my beautiful daughter," he turned to Harry. "You take care of her."

Harry nodded sadly and I hugged my father once more. "I love you, Daddy. I'll see you in New York…remember…we'll see the statue together…" I whispered, willing myself to believe it.

I stood, clutching to my father with my eyes clenched shut, praying for it all to be a nightmare that I could wake up from.

"You have to go, my love." Daddy whispered in my ear, trying to break my hold on him.

I shook my head, only tightening my grip on him. I could feel him motion to Harry, and he pulled me gently away from my father. I wiped at the tears that flowed down my cheeks. "I love you, Daddy…always." I called to him, allowing Harry to pull me towards the boats.

"Where will you go?" I turned to Harry, the realization that he was also in danger hitting me like a ton of bricks.

"Don't worry about me…I'll man one of the lifeboats, I promise." I nodded, something in his eyes telling me to believe him.

"I can't lose you, Harry…" I clutched the front of his coat in my hands and held myself close to him.

"You won't, I swear, I won't leave you."

He brought my hand up to his mouth, kissing my knuckles softly. "It's time to go."

He helped me into the lifeboat, and our eyes never left each other as it was lowered into the water.

**

* * *

**

2:22am

I stared, unfeeling, as the ship rose into the air and then disappeared into the water forever. Perhaps it was the cold…I don't know…but something kept me from shedding a single tear.

I kept my eyes glued on the place where the ship had just been. Had it really been only hours ago that I was sitting in Harry's lap?

I closed my eyes, trying my hardest to block out the screams. It was like nothing I had ever heard before or have ever heard since. Cries of "God help us" and "come back!" cut through the dark night, each piercing a new hole into my heart.

What was worse than the screams, however, was the silence that fell upon us eventually.

**

* * *

**

4:00am

My body had gotten past the point of shivering…it required energy that I didn't have. My hair had turned into strands of icicles, and my fingers had lost all feeling.

In the distance I could see a ship approaching, and in my state of exhaustion I could have sworn the side read "RMS Titanic" in brilliant white letters.

**

* * *

**

4:40am

I wandered the decks of the Carpathia like a ghost. I might as well have been, for not one person paid any attention; it was as if they were looking straight through me.

I was dragging my fingers along the railing when a hand pressed softly against my shoulder. I didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"Harry," I whispered.

"I promised, didn't I?"

I was in his arms in an instant, feeling for the first time since I had sat in the lifeboat. My body shook uncontrollably, and everything hit me at once. I cried in joy at seeing Harry; in sadness for my father; in horror as the screams echoed in my head.

"He's gone, isn't he?" I cried into his chest.

I could feel him freeze under my touch, and I knew I had my answer.

**

* * *

**

April 18

**th****, 1912**

I squinted through the fog as a statue emerged ahead; the landmark I had been seeing in my dreams.

"There she is, Harry." I said as his arms encircled my waist.

"The Statue of Liberty," he murmured into my hair in his thick Welsh accent.

I hummed in content, trailing my fingertips along the bare skin of his arms.

I remembered back to what felt like a lifetime ago, when my father had returned from one of his trips out to sea. He had been to America, a place that had felt so out of my reach at the time. I held out my hands, waiting for the little present he always brought me after his trips. "Close your eyes…" he had said, causing me to giggle as I obliged. I felt the smooth metal and opened my eyes to see a tiny figurine. "What is it, Daddy?" He smiled at me, running his finger over the trinket. "It's the Statue of Liberty, in New York Harbor. One day, we'll see it together." We looked at each other, smiles plastered on our faces.

'_I love you, Daddy…always._'


End file.
